Day 32 - Konye-Urgench, Turkmenistan

Kublai Kooks - Mongol Rally 2017
Day 32 - August 16, 2017 – Part 1
The Gates of Hell to Konye-Urgench Turkmenistan
Countries: 24 KMs/Miles: 12767/7979
Breakdowns: 11 Time @ Borders: 40h 53m

An unwanted early morning is forced upon the Kooks through the intense heat coming off the crater only to be doubled by the morning sun. They awake a bit worse for wear with heads still ringing from the revelry the night before.

Forever burning, the crater is far less impressive under the sun’s rays and the Kooks decide not to hang around. John offers to drive as always and Andy is quick to raise his hand to steer YACKS through the sandy dunes that had proven so treacherous the night before. His thought being, “I’m not running the whole damn way again”. YACKS takes the lead and Andy is determined not to let his foot off the accelerator until the bottom. With sand blasting over the windshield and the car flying over the dunes everything seemed to be almost too easy in the daylight.

The locusts still hanging around like a bad stench, they waved frantically at the car and YACKS is forced to pull over. The bumper is hanging by a single screw. It had scooped its fill of sand and was officially retiring. The lads tore it off unceremoniously and strapped it to the roof while Millie pulled alongside to point and laugh hysterically. Thanks Millie.

Both cars carry on with only one slight hiccup encountered when YACKS lost her footing on a hill due to some average gear changes by Andy. Easily dislodged, the same mistake would not be made twice. YACKS joins Millie back near the highway to celebrate their exit and ready their steeds for the drive that lay between them and the border town of Konye-Urgench.

But what’s this? Millie appears to be missing her bumper as well? Karma prevails. After all the ridicule lampooned on YACKS earlier, little did Millie notice she had suffered the same fate. The cars’ rear ends had been exposed. Over the hill approached some locals bearing a gift, they had found Millie’s bumper and wanted to return it to its rightful owner. The Kooks gave their gratitude until the vermin revealed their true intent and asked for money. To which the Kooks responded, “Keep it” and happily relieved themselves of the plastic shields to be rid of these annoying pests once and for all.

Road tires back on and pressures up, the Kooks began the border haul. Josh leading in YACKS and Andy following in Millie they aim towards Uzbekistan. Millie loses sight of YACKS over a crest when suddenly, their progress comes to a screeching halt. Millie is screaming in agony with her emergency lights blaring ahead after smashing into a massive pothole.

John sprints out the passenger door before Millie has come to a stop to assess the situation. The verdict? “It’s F*cked”. Not what you want to hear from your Messiah.
The Stans have officially begun their unrelenting torture of the hapless Kooks. End Transmission.